What’s a little moderation?
Who would you want teaching your child about the dangers of substance abuse? A forever-alcoholic with the message that addiction is too powerful to overcome without expensive treatment? Or caring parent YOU modeling an occasional glass of wine with dinner?
As a former teacher, I cringe at the exposure of students to Drug Abuse Resistance Education (D.A.R.E.) in the schools. Because I don’t understand addiction, I’ve never felt qualified enough to doubt whether this type of program works.
After reading about the natural remission and harm reduction work of Stanton Peele, Ph.D., I’m more confident in my parental gut reaction.
In his book, Addiction-Proof Your Child, Dr. Peele writes, “Virtually every impartial, well-designed evaluation has found D.A.R.E. to have little or no impact on drug and alcohol use—and some studies have even found that kids who have gone through the program are more likely to use these substances.”
Dr. Peele wants to change what we teach our children about addiction. Our wrong-headed approaches define addiction in overwhelming terms and focus only on drug and alcohol abuse. According to the psychologist, unhealthy compulsions and dependencies can surface anywhere. Think food, electronics, shopping, gambling, or prescription drugs.
Despite all the destructive appetites, Dr. Peele thinks we can reduce the risk of addiction with an approach supported by research and based on reassuring reality.
Power over substance abuse begins with the values learned in the home. Kids who care about self and others and value achievement are not likely to become addicts. Moderation, health, and responsibility support well-being, the best antidote to addiction.
And, well-being can grow from self-acceptance and the realization that addictions can be overcome.
Dr. Peele also encourages parents to teach moderation in place of abstinence. We can take cues from Mediterranean cultures that tolerate wine consumption and experience less alcoholism. Dr. Peele cites studies that show adolescents who do not drink at home with their parents increase their risk of binge drinking by three times. Modeling drinking sensibly in a family setting reduces the risk of excessive drinking when children become independent.
Dr. Peele simplifies moderation like this:
Training your children in moderation begins from the moment they start to eat. Since abstaining from food is not a possibility, you obviously need to teach your children how to eat sensibly. This lesson will serve your children when it comes to managing other appetites, including shopping, gambling, sex, and everything else people may do to self-destructive excess.
Because he is a psychologist, Dr. Peele includes in his book ways of starting a dialogue. Withholding judgment, a parent can uncover a child’s values and whether they abuse drugs or alcohol.
When deciding there is a problem, Dr. Peele proposes that families use the principles of harm reduction. This type of intervention helps an adolescent take control of addiction by limiting intoxicated episodes and the consequences, and bringing behavior in line with values.
Peele ultimately hopes parents understand the concept of “maturing out.” What if an adolescent’s binge drinking evolves into adult alcoholism? Peele asks that we look for the motivation and self-efficacy required to move beyond immaturity versus genetics or lack of treatment.



